Saturday, May 30, 2009


If there is something that our town is famous for it is tradition. We are very traditional people and we pass those traditions from one generation to the next. How were those tradition born? Sit still and I'll tell you.
A few years ago our mayor had to quit his job because he was caught driving under the influence and since it was out of town the highway patrol did not know who he was and arrested him. He was brought to the judge. As soon as the judge heard the case he decided to get the mayor's job for his son, Charlie. Because there is another thing that all of us have in common - we all take care of our own, regardless of qualifications. The judge's son, for instance, had no qualifications whatsoever and could not get any job, and that worried his father and especially his father-in-law, the sheriff. They tried to make him a prison guard but he lost the keys to the prison and some inmates found them and got away. It was only then that the judge and the sheriff reached the conclusion that the only way to find him a job is by using their most important asset, namely their connections. Together they went to the council meeting and after a few promises and threats the council finally voted to grant Charlie a job interview.
When the judge got home that evening he wanted to have a talk with his son in order to tell him the good news, but he couldn't find him. He asked his wife
"Say, Doly. You haven't happened to see Charlie, have you?"
"I reckon he's in the bar," she said.
"What?" the judge yelled "I go to the council to find him a job and he just sits in the bar getting drunk? I'm gonna get the son of a bitch, you hear me?"
He went to the living room and came back with his shotgun.
"You be careful," Doly told him. "Remember the last time you used it you almost killed yourself."
The judge did not answer and just left the house and went straight to the bar. When he got there the place was crowded. He tried to find a seat near the counter but all the seats were taken. He looked around and his eyes fell on a young guy whom he did not know. He turned to the guy and said
"Hey, dude. Do you know who I am?"
"Don't know and don't care," the dude said.
"I'm the judge," the judge said "and I'm looking for my son."
"Well," the dude who was already drunk said " I'm Columbus and I'm looking for the place where the sun don't shine."
The judge didn't know how to respond but right at that moment he saw the sheriff get into the bar and he waived to him. The dude thought that the judge was about to hit him and immediately got off his seat and punched the judge in the face. Suddenly there was silence in the bar. Everyone was looking at the judge to see what his next step will be. The judge did not hesitate. He grabbed the dude's stool and hit him on his head. The dude fell to the floor and remained motionless.
"Oh, my goodness!" the waitress screamed and all of a sudden the bar became tumultuous.
Having no other way to silence the crowd in the bar, the sheriff pulled out his gun and shot in the air. The bar became quiet again.
"Nobody is allowed to leave the bar before answering our questions, this is the law," the sheriff announced, and immediately afterwards began interviewing the people in the bar. That process, however, was very slow and the crowd in the bar became impatient and began to complain. The sheriff understood that something has to be done. He got on his feet and announced
"You can have your drinks while you're waiting for your interview."
This announcement was accepted with applause by the crowd and an hour later everyone in the bar was totally drunk.
It was already late in the afternoon the next day when most of the people in the bar arrived at their homes and went straight to sleep. That day, April 22, is known in our town as "Bar Day" and is celebrated every year. All the bars in town offer free drinks to everybody on that day.
This is how tradition is born.

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