Monday, May 4, 2009

Surveys

If you are on the internet you better like surveys because surveys are one of the best things that the internet has to offer. The only exceptions I can think of are those emails which request your help in transferring some huge heritage from Nigeria to your bank account and the announcements from the DESK OF LOTERIA PRIMITIVA INTERNATIONAL that you have won (for sure, not just "may have won") the amount of one million euros ONLY. Other than that, the main attraction of the internet are without a doubt the surveys.
This is why there are literally thousands of companies who only do surveys, and their goal is to give you, the consumer, the opportunity to express your opinions. Isn't this what democracy is all about? And honestly what's there not to like? It's true that those surveys may take some of your time, but this is a minor shortcoming if you consider their promises. Basically what they tell you is that if you are willing to share your opinions (and, frankly, who doesn't? opinions and troubles are some of the few things that most people are willing to share with little or no hesitation) you may win a free laptop or at least an ipod. Don't worry, the questions you are asked on those surveys are not very hard to answer. I mean it doesn't take a rocket scientist to answer them. They don't expect you to express your opinion about the theory of relativity (I think it sucks, but this is only my opinion, feel free to express yours), all they want you to do is to tell them whether you have diabetes and you live in the US. If you have diabetes and do not live in the US, too bad. You have no chance of winning the laptop or even the ipod. This is one of the major characteristics of diabetes - if you want to take full advantage of it you have to live in the US. If you don't, you won't qualify. Now, if I were in such an unfortunate situation, I would immediately cross the border into the US, and I would do it as fast as I can because this offer is about to expire soon, and then what would you do? If you decide not to take that offer, forget it. There is a limit to their generosity. They are not giving those laptops and ipods to everyone, just to people who suffer from that horrible illness and clearly need a laptop or at least an ipod to maintain a reasonable standard of living.
There is only one way around it - they are willing to enter you into the sweepstakes, even when you don't have diabetes, if you show them that you are interested in improving your education (and frankly you should - only an uneducated person wouldn't take advantage of that fabulous diabetes offer). It all makes perfect social sense - they will help you if your health situation is desperate or if you are willing to improve your education. This is what made this country great - if you are not horribly sick, the least you can do is improve your education, and this is exactly what these survey companies are here for - helping people who are in desperate situations or are willing to help themselves. Can you think of a nobler cause than that?
But this is not the end of their generousity, not by a long shot. They are willing to help you in many other ways as well. For instance, let's say you need to put a mortgage on your house in order to pay your debts. All you need to do then is give them a few minor details about yourself, your bank account, your spouse's age (this may pose some risks), and your credit card number, and they will take care of the rest. There is no reason for you to worry day and night about your debts, especially when there are such wonderful companies which are willing to risk their own reputation just in order to help you. No? You don't want to mortgage your house? They can still help you. They can, for instance, get you a new cable service. It may cost you a little bit more than your current cable service, but at least you'll know that you are helping those companies, which means that you are helping those miserable people with diabetes or people who need to improve their education. Isn't it worth it to you? What are a few bucks compared to the feeling that you are helping your fellow man in a time of dire need?
The best offer of them all is home business. This is really a dream come true. It is well-known that by working from home you can make the money you always dreamed about, live in a house which will be the envy of all your friends, travel anywhere you feel like, and even give some to charity, thus ensuring your place in Heaven. If you don't believe it just read the testimonies of some of the lucky people who took advantage of this fantastic offer. They are there, on the website. And what are you missing? Going to work every morning, sweating for someone else? If you decide, like you should, to work from home, you will not have to be away from your family during the whole day. You can stay with them, and no doubt they will be so much happier. What do you need to do in order to have all that? Just order a CD or video cassette and they will tell you. It will, of course, cost you a few bucks, covering the shipping and handling (after all, you can't expect them to carry all the financial burden by themselves just in order to make you rich) but isn't it worth it to you?

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