Thursday, June 18, 2009

English 1on1

I know it's hard to believe but I was a pretty good student in high school. I excelled in Home Economics and Choir, but I am most proud of the A that I got in English which goes to show you that what you really need in order to succeed in school is having the right motivation. Luckily, I had that motivation from the moment I laid my eyes on our English teacher. She was such a lovely creature and was so plentiful, if you know what I mean. I always thought of her as the land of milk (in the north) and honey (you know where). God blessed her with everything a man can want in a woman - all in generous proportions and in the right places. The only things God did not bless her with were clothes in the right size. Her clothes were always too narrow and did not leave much room to anything , especially not to imagination. That was probably because she washed them very often and that made them shrink.
I, of course, was not the only one who noticed those wonderful qualities of hers. All the male students in our class did, and every day before she was about to enter our classroom we made sure to put the chalk and the eraser on the floor. Thus, the first thing she did as she entered our classroom was bending over in order to pick them up. That was the moment that we were all waiting for. By the time she reached the floor all of us were on our tiptoes trying to catch as much of the view as we could. Then she would rise and ask some (mostly male) student something. Usually the selected student would almost faint and only after a few failed attempts succeed in stuttering an answer. Needless to say, these guys were too pathetic to be my rivals and with the slightest effort (what's one sleepless night in comparison to the prospect of eternal love?) I always defeated them and easily became the best student in class.

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